99 Problems

1. Work is out of control busy.

2. I am super lost (i.e. aivalea) at my current work assignment.

3. Having a primary school kid and having to arrange your life around the fact that there is no more full time care for your kid during all your working hours ... it's a new discovery, a new challenge, and my goodness I feel so bad for all you other working parents out there! Let's get together and have a whine-fest (or even better, a wine-fest!)

4. I still haven't won Powerball. Obviously, or problems 1 to 3 would be resolved.

5. Ant is such a boy of a baby. He hasn't given me a smooth complexion, a "glow" or shiny/tamed hair like Lali did. Instead, he has given me a grand appetite for spicy bratwurst, bacon butties, churros and all else that is needed for getting elephantiasis.

6. I work in the middle of Wellington city. You would think that being surrounded by cafes galore it would be easy to find a date scone when you crave one, right? Wrong. I had to walk around in circles, visiting 5 cafes on a rainy morning before I could find one! Not impressed.

7. Our neighbour's visitor parked on the road in such that a way that impeded me from backing out of our driveway the way I wanted to. The hubby wisely volunteered to ask him to move, preventing a mad-preggo-lady altercation and possible charges for destruction of property ( though I would have only removed the rear bumper of his car ... that was part that was poking into our side of the driveway ... )

8. I'm sure I have about 92 or so more gripes on food and fat. Ugh. My sister takes photos from amazing angles that make me look a quarter of the size I am. People see them and say "You look so great! Upload more photos!" No thanks. I will only upload the photos that pass the "Pregnant But In Impossibly Great Shape" criteria. Hence why there aren't many.

9. Looking at Crazy Cakes and Just Desserts Facebook updates is driving me insane with cake cravings. I am refusing to do any baking right now though, because I can see it turning into a slippery slope ... of ganache and whipped cream and buttercream and custard!! Joy.

Two more months. I can do this. Just focus on the prize at the end ... that bowl of oka. Nommmm ...

We like to partay

That time of year is approaching again ... Lali Lady's birthday. And with it, of course, comes grand ambitions and plans for a party and cake.

Her royal highness had requested a princess themed party. My imagination ran wild, along with my Googling and Pinteresting, and it all started coming together in my mind ...

We would have a princessy bouncy castle. There would be a red carpet or some other royal entrance to the house, where the lounge would have pretty and delicate decorations. I would hire little furniture for the kids' meal and set it up all grand. There would a separate crafts area where they could make crowns or knightly swords. The conservatory would serve as the adults' retreat, where they could relax with some hors d'oeuvres (a.k.a heated sausage rolls from New World) and drinks. The cake would be a two-tier affair, one chocolate tier and one strawberry, made from scratch, not a box-cake in sight. I would learn to create fondant jewels and a tiara as toppers. All would marvel at my creative genius.

Yea right.

That plan has altered somewhat since I was kindly brought down to earth by my down-to-earth husband. The truth is, I will be a fat, nauseous, hormonal, lazy pig by the time the birthday rolls around (ha). Add the pressure of this grand party on top, and I would be a blubbering mess. So it looks like we will most likely settle for a party at an indoor play area, where you pay, turn up, party, go home. The End. So much simpler.

However, there is one survivor from the whole party revamp, and that is the cake. So I am now trialling strawberry cake from scratch, different frosting and piping techniques, etc. Exciting times! Next minute ... single layer "mud cake" from New World. Lol. Watch this space.

The cake my baby wanted, and will not be getting

Big promises to little people

I have learnt a valuable lesson. Do not make promises to your kids in the spur of the moment.

For example: About a month ago, one of the kids at Lyla's daycare celebrated their birthday party by bringing a Kung Fu Panda cake to share. Lyla raved about the cake and then she said "Mummy, when it's my birthday, will you come to my school and have some of my Percy cake?"

Your wada what?

With a big fake smile on, I asked "Who is Percy?". It turns out that Percy the small engine is one of Thomas the Tank Engine's mates. Oh ok then, I thought. How hard can it be to make a Percy cake? That was my first mistake.

So against all my natural inclinations, I tried to be organised about it. First step, Googling this Percy person to see what he looks like. Second step, find a good cake recipe. Thankfully, I "knew" (stalked) a Domestic Goddess over at Sleepless in Samoa, and she gave me her secret ingredient chocolate cake recipe, and it was very good.

Before I could tackle step three, which was practising the decoration side of things, I lost my mojo. And next thing you know, it was the Thursday night before "Percy cake day". I hit the Panic/Turbo button and somehow from somewhere amongst the failed batches of buttercream, self taught piping "skills" and "all those baking spillages" (as my wise husband put it - wise by completely avoiding having anything to do with this Mission Impossible), I managed to produce this result:

Ta dah!
Chocolate cake, with base Betty Crocker choc frosting,
and topped with piped buttercream "graphics"

And even though the cake was finished and I was exhausted, I couldn't even sleep properly because I was so worried of how Lyla the Perfectionist Monkey Queen would critique my cake.

No more promises from this big person to a certain little person.

Sponginess

Toddlers are sponges. The kind of sponge that absorbs only what it is NOT meant to absorb. And then chooses the best time to display their newfound knowledge/skill.

A few new characteristics Lyla showed today (thankfully in the privacy of our home)

Tact
I tried on a hat and asked "Baby, do you think I look good?" She looked at me, looked at the hat, paused, then said "Mummy, I don't like tea." Ha! Changing the subject when she didn't want to tell me that I looked like the cat in the hat's fat aunt. Nicely done. I will take credit for this trait.

Stealth
This photo says it all.

The hand with a mind of its own

Head looking directly at the TV, while hand pokes a hole in the glad wrap and creeps closer to the chocolate cake! So engaged is she in her covert role, that she doesn't notice me taking a photo. She probably (definitely?) got this from me too.

Delusion

I was looking through the Manu FB page and she sat down as well and had a look. This photo came up and I asked her "Do you know who this is?" She nodded. "Yes, it's Daddy!" I could not stop laughing. Now that was definitely NOT from me. No sirree. I hope she doesn't need glasses.


On a side note, anonymous blogging has been enabled. I didn't even realise it was a setting until a superstar wanted to comment as Anon to keep under the radar from the paparazzi.

Weekly wrap

What a week it has been. Where do I start? Well, at the very beginning of course.

Sunday: Manu Samoa beat Wallabies
And by 'beat' I mean 'slaughtered'. It was a pleasure to watch, not just for the win, but the way in which they won. With so much heart, and never giving in to the Wallabies' attempt to take back what you could sense they thought was rightfully theirs.

Monday: Pretty pretty please
I checked the Sky schedule...no more replays of the Manu game. So I sent this short but heartfelt plea to Sky



Tuesday: Baby Becks
The Beckham baby was born. Harper Seven. That confused look on your face? That's what I had on too.

Wednesday: Go the Manu
The already popular 'Go the Manu' Facebook page started gaining even more momentum. As the NZ speeding ads go 'The faster you go, the bigger the mess.' In this case it wasn't the page itself, but more the people that were joining. I suppose it was inevitable. It started with a small group of like-minded fanatics who loved the Manu ... for the team they wanted to be, and for the team that they almost were ... we love them, we LOVE them. (Sorry, did I mention I'm on a Jerry Maguire buzz?) As the numbers increase, a few psycho stalkers and know-it-all loo-hoo-hoo-zer-hers have slipped through too. And of course, our favourite, the anal one, who didn't bother to read the page description: "This is a fun page for all supporters of our Manu Samoa rugby team in the lead up to the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand."

Thursday: Only the lonely
Husband flew out last night for a family faalavelave. It's just me and the tiger-monkey-queen. So I thought, I would revisit my idle Twitter account and see what goes on there. I logged in and never looked back. You can't look back, or blink, or go to the toilet, or take Lyla to the toilet, in case you miss a Tweet. If you ever have a spare 24 hours in your day, Twitter is the place to spend it. Then I found out I could get free text notifications every time someone Tweets me. Yes please! Then I get spammed by Sleepless. No more lonely night for me.

Friday: Lazy
Today was a work-from-home-with-Lyla day. I tried out a chocolate cake recipe courtesy of Sleepless. Bad idea. It's a good sized cake. A moist good sized chocolate cake. The kid is unwell, that leaves me to eat it all. I tell you, life can be so tough.

Now that it's nearly 10pm, it's time to kick into life, and start my cooking marathon. I plan to make mushroom soup, chicken curry and cheesecake - all to freeze and distribute to the needy in the community.

And I'm sorry if you visited just to see some hot rugby player photos. What do you think this is, my secret ogle stash a perve fest? Google him :)

Politically Correct Baking

Today I set out to make some melting moments (I think they're also called yo-yo's?). You know, those round white shortbread biscuits with custard-like filling. Mmmm...

So I found a recipe online that looked easy and had enough good reviews. For some reason, whenever I Google for recipes, I start with "best". e.g. today I typed "best melting moment recipe". Naive maybe. But so far, it's given me some good results.

Well, I found out I didn't have the patience for reading instructions that go something like this - roll into balls of 2.5cm in diameter, use an object with flat bottom to press down to 3cm in diameter, then press with fork until 4cm in diameter. Huh? I just went with what I thought was the "right" size. Sigh.

My goodness, did I get a shock when I opened up the oven, expecting to see my beautiful golden biscuits. What was more surprising though was that they tasted great!

So they may be the wrong colour, but they are perfectly fine in every other aspect. Hmm, where have I come across that before...?