Monday, September 22, 2014

What to expect when you're expecting

Pregnancy hormones make a negro cray, so here are some activities you might want to ease up on.

1. Voting in any elections of any significance. Because you will vote for the underdogs. Who will probably lose. Then you will lament and vent on social media for them.

2. Going shopping. Because when you get charged full price at the checkout instead of the sale price shown on the racks, best believe you're gonna make them pay. At the expense of your dignity and your husband and children's pride.

3. Watching TV shows like Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I usually shed a tear or two of joy at the end of such shows. But hormonal imbalances result in full waterworks requiring a whole box of tissues, and that aloe vera crap ain't cheap.

4. Listening to depressing songs. All of a sudden you can relate to every bloody person's heartaches and suffering. More crying ensues. More unnecessary expensive tissue usage. Sam Smith, get some help.

5. Exercising. Not only have your hormones loosened up your joints and crap, but your tummy will make you off-balanced and likely to look even more gumby than usual, and you realise you are forever doomed to be a flabby, wobbly whale. Which you aren't in reality, but somehow you'll convince yourself that's the truth. Cue more wailing and gnashing of teeth, followed by excessive consumption of chocolate and honey toast.

But it's a blessing right?

[Grit teeth] Right!

4 comments:

Nyds said...

Ok wait. Are you pregnant?!! Did I miss that post??

Bina said...

Haha yea :P No you didn't miss it. Haven't done a big announcement actually. 16 weeks tomorrow. Soooo are you gonna make me a cake when I visit in November? Baby likes cake :D

MrsF said...

Congrats on the pregnancy! :) I was pretty emotional about my vote too...but I have no excuse. Just ulu-crack syndrome - it's hereditary. Lol.

kuaback said...

I was going.."wait is she pregnant?" lol Congratulations Rock Fob. Though, I think I'm like that now, and I'm not pregnant. lol