Work tips

When people ask stupid questions, do not vent in your reply to them, especially in an email.

Example Option 1: 

Email reply with: "Read the spec, you fool!"

Example Option 2:

Vent out loud: "Read the spec, you fool!"

Then email reply: "I will look into your query right away."

Until you win the Lotto jackpot, I recommend always choosing Option 2, for a long and prosperous career. Or just a long one.

Happy Humpday, dancers!

Nek minnit

What was I saying about having a good work day? The very next day the rainbow dissappeared. I received 2 major assignments:

Assignment 1
To start work as a Business Analyst for one of our new clients. It went something like this:

WorkBoss1: What's your availability like? WorkBoss2 mentioned that we might be able to use you as a Businesss Analyst at this client.
Me: Really? Now why would he say that? [chuckle - so they would think it was the IT humour talking ... but really...]
WorkBoss1: So you can start in 2 weeks' time? Great! I'll let them know.
Me: [turns monitor away from boss and Googles "Business ... Analyst"]

Assignment 2
One of our clients is a big electricity generator and retailer. There are some changes being made to the country's electricity market, so a workshop is being held next week for all market participants. I have been assigned the task of representing our company at this workshop.

My boss reckons it will be good networking. Networking!? So why on earth did they choose me ... hello, I don't even talk to the people at work that don't work on projects with or have the same cuppa-tea-making-time as me.




Checks pants. Yep, there's definitely poop there.


I think I am about to die from not-knowing-what-the-hell-is-going-on-ness. Oh my life, I should start fasting right now, and don my sackcloth, cover myself in ashes and weep. Lord, if I make it through this alive, it will be nothing short of a miracle.

First day wrap up

Today was my "first day at work" ... sort of. About a year ago now, we moved from Auckland to Wellington, and somehow I managed to keep my job with the Auckland company. There was the tiny issue that they didn't have a Wellington branch. Yet. So I became it. Theta Wellington, all on my lonesome self, with a proper office and everything in town but no work colleagues in it. Now that I think back on it, it seems a bit comical, like I was some mental person with the delusion of having a desk job in town.

Anyway, last month Theta Systems acquired a smaller company in Wellington, which has now become the "official" Theta Central Region (I think that's what we're called now). So today was my first day working in their office. It felt kind of weird, since I was the original Theta person, and yet I was "the new girl". But apart from that, the day actually went well. It was a massive change not having my Facebook logged on in the background, so I could switch windows when I saw a notification. Ha! But work flowed smoothly, everyone was super-nice, yada yada yada.

However, by lunch, I was ready for some "me time", so I hit the streets.

First stop: Cafe Rahzoo

These guys have a massive  & delicious selection of salads, and you can pick any 3 choices for  $8.50

Next stop: Midland Park, across the road from Rahzoo, where I got my daily dose of Vitamin D while I ate my rabbit food.

This was later in the afternoon, during lunch it's all packed out with lunch-eating Welly folk

Final (and favourite) stop of the day: Whitcoulls

In the fantasy section there were a whole bunch of comfy lounging chairs, where I curled up and enjoyed a Jon Snow chapter of 'A Dance With Dragons', before buying my trusty black Collins diary for 2012 and heading back to work.

Next thing I knew my daily alarm to pick up Lyla went off. So much for stressing about my "first day". This was one hell of a sweet day.

Crumb

noun
A very small amount of something

Here are this week's crumbs:

Manu money matters
An article was published in "Le Weekender" exposing details about the misuse of finances donated to the Manu Samoa by the people. I won't go into it any further, except to say that it is disappointing and just downright stupid. Greed plus power is a recipe for disaster. It is especially a downer in this case, where people who had little gave a lot, and gave wholeheartedly, trusting that the funds would be managed appropriately by the stewards.

That money could have been spent on so many useful things, like paying someone to do the team's washing, to prevent this from happening:
 

Honest to goodness tweet from one of the Manu players,
whose name has been filtered out to protect his identity
(coz I'm profesh like that)

 Mad love
No matter how bad things can get, and for me they got pretty bad 2 weeks ago, God has been the light. I dread to think of where I would be without Him. This week's impossible work challenges I also overcame as a result of God's power. Nothing but mad love for the ultimate Father.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way

- James 1:2-4 (The Message)

Tow Woes
On Wednesday, my car got towed from the parking lot behind work. The way it works is this: you drive in, park your car, pay the ticket machine thing and print out a ticket, and place the ticket inside your car on the dashboard.

I haven't had any previous problems following those instructions. Until Wednesday. I did everything except the all important last step, putting the ticket on display. So when I walked to my parking spot after work and looked at the empty space, before my heart could complete its sinking motion, my head had already replayed the morning's actions and I knew what I had done...or not done.

We got the car back, but our parking expense for the day, instead of the usual $10, was $185. Big fat tired sigh.


And last but not least...

Hot and Spicy
(No, this is not related at all to the Rugby World Cup)

KFC hot and spicy chicken is "back" ... from wherever is usually goes before it periodically returns. Big yippee from me...I only like the spicy chicken from that place. So every time it returns, our little family has a KFC feed. Just the one...until the next time it returns.



You know where that's going. Straight to the bootay.

And that's where I leave you, folks. Looking a photo of a delicious piece of hot and spicy chicken thigh. Off I go to bed before I make a late night dash to the nearest KFC.

Shout out from the top

After a week of sleepless nights and intense work stress, I received a pleasant surprise today when our CEO called to tell me that I got a special mention/award thingy at our company's monthly meeting (which I was unable to attend since I'm the only-the-lonely loser working from Wellington while everyone else is in Auckland - but that's another story).




Not the award I got

 So I stand up here on the stage to receive my Oscar Geek award, and would like to give thanks to all those that have helped me achieve my goal of being Geek of the month.

1. God
The source of all my geekiness blessings. Thank you for providing an awesome job and boss, for always being faithful in answering prayer and for such favour at work.

2. Mum and Dad
For the genes. Sure, you also gave me thunder thighs, a flat head and hairy fingers, but the brain genes didn't turn out too bad. And thanks for paying my school fees at RLSS because I was too much of a wussy kid to survive public school.

3. Pati
The Duran to my Duran. For clearing Lyla out of my path when I'm at my most stressed, shouting me nice lunches when I need to get out of the office and understanding about me spending some nights with the laptop instead him.

4. My boss
Chances are if he read my blog I would not have received this award. So thankfully he has more important things to do, like running a great company that hires awesome fobs...actually, one fob.


Oh my goodness, I'm so overwhelmed...who else do I need to thank...

5. UPY science labs
By spending 9 hours every week sitting in labs, while the Arts and Commerce kids lounged and laughed at the canteen just outside the window, I was put off any career involving labs and stumbled blindly towards IT (because I was told they were paid well).

6. Angie
The lovely Malaysian lady that runs the Malaysian restaurant Sri Pinang on K'Road. Where I spent hours of bonding time with workmates while chowing on the best roti ever, and copious amounts of curry. Friday lunch at work has never been the same since I left Auckland. Thank you Angie, for filling me up so much with scrumptiousness, that I was able to handle the Friday afternoon brain haze by sleeping-with-eyes-open at my desk.

Ok, the music is playing really loud now...the ushers are dragging me off...but thank you last but definitely not least to my blog readers and the blogs I read, for the bucketloads of laughter in the wee hours of the morning that helped me to make it through to where I am today *tear*

How to survive work stress

One word - denial. Pretend that you are not under the workload more suitable for 5 people. It doesn't cure it and it sure doesn't help the work get done, but it reminds you of what sanity feels like,  what the fresh air on the other side of the tunnel smells like, and fuels you to keep going.

Ways to implement denial mode:

1. Blog - See, I'm doing it now, and it's working. Nuff said.

2. Bake - This has the double benefit of providing therapy as well as having something delicious to indulge on at the end.

3. Housework - If you're a slob like me, housework is the perfect getaway from work craziness because there is always plenty to be done. I purposely leave it there to help me in stressful times (uh-huh...there was a plan to my laziness).

4. Watch State of Origin - Yep, even if you're a NSW supporter and your team is getting SLAUGHTERED. Or you've never watched rugby league before. Because the alternative is working. So reach for that remote control right now.

5. Spend time with your kid(s) - What a notion. Even if your kid finds it a bit suspicious (like mine is) don't let it stop you.


And after doing all that, you'll be too exhausted to work any more, so go to bed straight away. Ok, so maybe the next day it will all come back to you...the mountain of work you were supposed to do the night before but chose to ignore, how pissed off your boss will be, how you might miss out on a pay rise in the next review cycle, how crap the day will be, how much coffee you will have to consume to make it through the day, and how much Neurofen you will need to counter the caffeine-induced migraine. But wasn't that moment of ignorance just bliss?


This is how I survive. Please seek professional consultation before implementing this approach. I accept no liability for unsuccessful implementations and ensuing consequences. For a limited time only. Only available in participating stores. Full lending and credit criteria apply. Each piece sold separately. Batteries not included. Refer to website for full terms and conditions.

Forget you

It's Friday. The day when my patience gauge is way below empty...I'm sputtering along and getting ready to pull over. And all the imbeciles I could ever encounter through work come out to play.

I am so peed off right now, and so close to committing career suicide. ARGH!

Deep breaths...

Mantra of the day:
He's an idiot - it's what they do. He's an idiot - it's what they do. Oooooossa...

Last Friday's mantra was (as my FB status will testify): Don't be mean. Don't be mean. Don't be mean.

Ok, I think I'm ready to log back in now and kindly reply to the email:
"Dear [insert name of idiot]

Where is the bloody file I was sitting up and waiting for since midnight? My apologies for seeming impatient. I realise that you have only had the request for 20 minutes so what you have been doing, twiddling your thumbs since then but we urgently require the file for our reports.

I will await your response when the file is available but I won't hold my bloody breath

I know where you live
Regards,
Sina"

Argh...as CeeLo put it (after censorship) ... forget you!

What DO I do?

Just recently while the in-laws were over from Samoa for a visit, my MIL (mother-in-law) saw how I was up most nights working after the toddler was put to bed. This was after the usual full day at the office.

Curious, she asked (in Samoan) "So what do you do at your job?"

EEK! I'm sure she saw the look of helplessness on my face. I am not a teacher, laywer, mechanic, engineer, dentist or doctor. I don't work at the bank. I don't drive a bus or a taxi. I don't work in retail. Those are pretty much the only jobs I can describe accurately in Samoan. (I know, how sad). As it was, I struggled to get people to understand what I did while conversing in English.

I am an IT Consultant of sorts, primarily in Business Intelligence. Huh, you say? I work in Information Technology. Ooohh, can you fix my computer? I think that's my least favourite question. As far as anything to do with a home computer setup goes, I know as much as anyone out there who can read a manual. And I can understand how that confuses people. I mean, I'm in IT right? Like the IT department that you call to come fix your computer when it does something unexpected or undesirable. Right?

Wrong. Ok, attempt no. 3. I write programs that load data from different sources to a central location, and transform it into a format that the business owners can use to make business decisions. At this point (if the poor listener was patient enough to hang around) I get a look of "get better work stories". Ok, it is not thrilling, creative stuff. But I ... like it. If I had to work (and believe me, I do, and I will have to for quite a while yet), then this is what I want to do.

So back to my MIL. Looking at me. Expectant. I took a deep breath, and out came a jumble of words ... actually, every second word was "computer" (and that isn't even Samoan!). I can't even remember what I said, and if I did, I would never repeat it. I looked at MIL. Yep, there it was. The "okay...so you have a boring job that involves computers" look. Bingo. I think I could sign that off as a success!

Note: I actually am a competent BI Consultant...if anyone is looking for one...