Saturday, July 30, 2011

Virtual will

A legal document containing instructions as to what should be done with one's money and property after one's death

I have been planning to get my will done for a while now. I am the paranoid type and am constantly worrying about Lyla's welfare should something happen to me before she reaches adulthood. I am also the lazy procrastinating type, rescheduling my appointment with the Public Trust a few times now.

The driving force behind me getting a will done is pretty much to state Lyla's legal guardians in her parents' place. It must be someone who loves her nearly as much as I, because there ain't gonna be no money coming with that kid.

It's an embarrassing truth. When the Public Trust person starts listing my assets and liabilities, and they excuse themselves, I know they'll be having a good laugh at the back somewhere at how unbalanced my will is. I will pretty much be delegating who will be paying my loans, and I don't even have a mortgage...kalofa e. Any takers?

So I had a good think about what I do have, that may not be Public-Trust-will-worthy, but nevertheless will need to be passed on to those who will truly appreciate them. And I have come up with this.

I, Bina, daughter of the Most High God, aged 21 years, resident of Windy Wellington, do hereby revoke all my former Wills that I made when I was a pimply teenager in Saoluafata. I declare this to be my virtual Will until I actually get around to making my real will.

I maintain good health (barely), and possess a sound mind (mostly).

I hereby bequeath the following items as specified:

A. Collection of rugby pics: I leave this to Sleepless. I know you will be presented with a big burden to steward such an important collection, but I trust that you will do everything in your ability to look at the pictures every day and night and will not spare your life to keep them safe.

B. My Springboks jersey: I leave this to Stella. I don't know anyone with such limitless fanaticism, and more deserving of this most treasured article of clothing.

C. My boss: I leave him to Coconut Girl. You deserve a boss that recognises and rewards your hard work, that will give you his parking spot when you are preggo and don't want to walk from the carpark way down the road (I think you will find this perk especially useful ... lol), that encourages high standards but sets these by example. Because you're worth it.

D. My trusty laptop: I leave this to Laura. The laptop is actually from work, so make sure you get to my house first and nick it. The only condition is that you must Facebook, blog and YouTube on a daily basis with this laptop. Difficult, I know. You must put aside all that socialising and extrovert activities you are currently involved with.

E. My binoculars: I leave these to Kuaback. They will come in use for your ... ummm ... "bird watching" at the beach. Please feel free to share your findings with your virtual friends.

F. My husband: Are you serious, I don't trust him to any of you crazies!!

As witnessed by my five or so blog followers this beautiful but chilly Welly day.
Long live the queens. Over and out.


Anonymous said...

Dear Rock Fob aka Sina (who may or not be up there in Heaven by now),
1. I had no clue that you were SOOO young. You're kidding right? You are so NOT 21?!
2. Im speechless and sleepless that you would leave me the precious photo collection. I just dont know if i could live up to such a monumental responsibility. Im also very worried that before i can fly to your deathbed in Welly, that SOMEONE else gets to the photos first and swipes them (Swiper!) I am very mistrustful of certain Coconut Girl and Kuaback. (Shhh dont tell them, they might throw coconuts at my blog) I have a sneaky feeling that they reeally reeally want those photos. And actually, if i was you, I would get some extra security for yourself AND for your collection. Not trying to spread vicious rumors or anything, just saying. Be on Guard!
3. Im also very very sad and jello that you gave Kuaback the binoculars. Hello, I need them. RWC is starting up soon and i cant afford tickets to the Manu game...I will need to climb up a coconut tree outside the stadium to catch sight of very important and enticing people.
There is still plenty of time for you to CHANGE your will...hint hint.

Coconut Girl said...

Bahahaha Anon, you can HAVE the photos...I'm holding out for the real thing LOL. And yeah, 21 years old? Hahahaha. Dreams are free darlin' lol. But that aside, I am honoured to be the recipient of your boss. Is he hot? haha.

Coconut Girl said...

Jesus that was a lot of "hahaha"-ing I did up there lol. And it's a Monday morning too. Can you tell I had a magnum for breakfast :) Have a good day ladies.

Coconut Girl said...

Oh and one more thing. Your husband? Nah you can take him with you lol...the images of him walking around NUS campus barefoot with a make-shift schoolbag made of a kigi kaga alaisa is just to vivid in moy moind haha.

Bina said...

Thanks for the spam, Coco...and *gasp* Who is that SAVAGE you speak of?? Hahahahaha. Well I'm sure if something does happen to me, Lyla will only be too happy to keep her dad all to herself. Saves me the trouble of doing a Sleepless-style and organise a line-up of potential second wives. Lol!!

kuaback said...

when i read the BINOCULARS i was like "how the heck did she know i'm a blind bat?" choohooo...Thank you Rock Fob..i assure you the binoculars will be put to good use "bird watching" on Waikiki beach...such hard work but I will do it all for you..hehehe

Lani Wendt Young said...

Reading thru these comments convinces me: we are all slightly mental. We need to get together in person. Preferrably on Waikiki beach. (but wait, i need to lose 20 pounds first so i can beat RockFob in a race to take photos of Kuabacks surfer hotties. Coconut Girl will b carrying a baby and out of the competition.)

Bina said...

Sleepless, do not count your chickens...Hello - just had a baby = hot juicy jugs!! But I move that we eliminate Coco anyway...

kuaback said...

oka kai leaga le faiga o si keige o coco...but i'll be a tuff competition on waikiki beach with Coco keo's hot jugs..hehe

Coconut Girl said...

Yes, whether carrying a baby or not, this coconut can PERFORM when it counts bahahaha. So beware Waikiki, deranged man-crazy bloggers coming to a theatre near you :)